When You Just Don't Want to Do It Anymore


Have you ever woken up with a YES hangover - you said yes to an activity, an event, a relationship, a job or business that sounded SO great at the time...

To realize that you are just not feeling it, out of energy, with no end in sight, wondering what happened?

Russell Brunson tells a story about waking up one day, knowing the company he was building (before he co-founded Clickfunnels), was taking off like wildfire, yet he didn’t want to get out of bed. Why? Because he wasn't interested in what he was selling or doing anymore.

What to do? 

Stop overthinking it. 

Just make a decision, cut it loose. 

Not easy, is it?

I know when I've pushed myself into a confused, fatigued corner, it's very hard to know what is causing what. I can stop thinking and act, but in that state I don’t trust my actions are coming from my best place. 

One thing that can help you decide what to cut is to shine light on your strengths, based on your instincts.

He Told Us So.

Peter Drucker, the 20th century’s favorite Corporate Dad, told us in no uncertain terms to build on our strengths. 

 In fact, he said, “To focus on weakness is not only foolish, it is IRRESPONSIBLE”. 

Ouchie.  You can almost hear him finishing that sentence with your full name, like your mama used to when she was mad at you. 

So if Job 1 is to build on our strengths, then our homework is to clearly identify our strengths, right? 

You would think by midlife we would have this part down. I mean, most of us have had some sort of personality testing, if not full-on therapy, by this point.

Well, if you still don’t have actual clarity, you are not alone. You see, by our 50's we have decades of practice masking our natural inclinations to please others. J.T O'Donnell, Founder of WorkItDaily.com, spent 15 years studying why up to 70% of Americans don't like their jobs.

He says the reason is they have prioritized praise and acceptance over doing what comes naturally. I haven't looked for a statistic as proof but my gut tells me this more true for women than men. 

This is one of the root causes of midlife distress as well. That 2 year old You that knows exactly what she wants is still in there, and not happy about being shut away in a box all these years.

What if there was a way to easily peel back the polite layers that mask our natural inclinations?  What if we could clearly see which situations delighted our 2 year old self, as well as those that triggered tantrums of boredom or frustration?

Well, there is. 

It's called the Kolbe Index.  

Instead of measuring cognitive function, like SAT test, or personality traits, like Meyers-Briggs,

The Kolbe Index captures our instinctive responses that live in our older brain, the ones that are present at birth. 

In theory, your Kolbe shouldn’t change over time, because it is very hard if not impossible to change our instincts. 

So how does it work?

The Kolbe test is a series of questions that organize your instincts into 4 basic action modes.

Now here is the part that is annoying: The explanation of the modes is wordy and confusing. 

This is part of the business model, of course. If they made it as simple as it should be, the company wouldn’t need to license an army of Kolbe specialists or create upsell products to help you interpret your results. 

Lucky for you, according to my Kolbe score, I have a high instinct for fact finding. After spending a couple hours researching information on interpretations, this is my translation of each of the modes:

The test measures your instincts, on a scale of 1 - 10, in the following areas:

RED: “Fact Finder”:  How much information you like to gather, process and deliver

BLUE: “Follow Through”:  How much you enjoy organizing and follow through 

GREEN: “Quick Start”: Tolerance for risk.

YELLOW: “Implementor'' - wait, isn’t that the same as Follow Through? I thought so too,

Turns out that Implementor is a confusing name for people who like to be hands on with physical objects, versus being OK with abstract concepts.
Why not just say “Builders?”

Here is what mine looks like: 

In spite of the confusion in what to call what, here is an example of the kind of clarity Kolbe results can unravel for you:

If you were a very good student you might assume a high scores for Follow Through, because organization and getting stuff done is  important to getting good grades.

And yes, as a matter of fact, a typical Kolbe score on Follow Through for good students and teachers is 8. 

My Kolbe in Follow Through is a 4!  Much lower than my 3.8 GPA would predict. (oh yes I did.)

I literally thought,  "OMG I'm flaky! What will my Dad say?"  I’m joking,  but it is true, too. 

In my house as I was growing up, I learned from an early age how follow-through and organization was a way to get approval, and good grades, which got me even more approval.

During the lockdown, I literally burned myself out on a launch. I thought, "What is wrong with me? Why am I so tired?"

Well, launching is 90% follow through. 

After taking the Kolbe, I see that all the tech and admin (follow through) related to the launch of an offer sucks the life right out of me. 

I know that pulling together the big picture, creating the vision, and taking risk makes me happy, but I never considered that I should be leading MOST OF THE TIME with those qualities (Although as I look back now, I see that is exactly what I have done in designing my personal life over the last few years.)

My small mind used to say, "Oh sure, doesn't everyone want to be the flaky visionary and see the world, Kala?  Get to the real work." 

Which meant, stay in the trenches with Asana, or Clickup, or distro for social media - all things that  zap my energy faster than Superman sitting on Kryponite. (Oh and by the way, its safer in the trenches, too - much less risk than to come out swinging) 

The point for you is this:

As you are designing what’s next for you in midlife, it is SUPER important that you pinpoint your energy leaks so you can focus your time on what comes easily to you, and plan for hiring or partnering for the rest. 

In fact,  the test results include a genius visual that tells you exactly what proportion of time you should spend on different activities, based on how much natural energy you have for each. This is a sample. 

Depending upon how far down the rabbit hole you went "working on your weaknesses", it can take a bit to adjust your way back to a work balance that fits you better. I'm still plugging away at it, but I know I'm on the right track when my inner 2 year old does a happy dance with her juice box. 

Any other Kolbe fans out there? My numbers are 7472. What are yours?

All my best - 



I am not an affiliate of Kolbe. Just passing it along because I think it can be helpful to you. https://www.kolbe.com/


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