Clarify your priority before you shoot marketing videos - is your message for you or for your audience?

After ending a 26 year marriage, selling or donating everything I owned, adopting a digital nomad lifestyle, and generally going on to re-invent my life, I felt a strong desire to help other women with their midlife struggles. I thought about starting an online community for the midlife journey. There is a beautiful way to gracefully navigate midlife and emerge renewed and excited about what remaining time you might have.

Based on my past interests and experience, I am fortunate to know that it is a good idea to test business ideas before you throw it all in. I started a simple website and a blog and made a few videos. I also surveyed some midlife women and interviewed others.

My initial enthusiasm began to turn to a creeping sense of unease. Much to my surprise, my audience was not nearly as worried about their potential midlife crisis as I was for them.

The real a-ha moment was when I joined a Facebook group for 50+ women. After observing the conversations and patterns in the topics that were coming up, I realized, "This is not my tribe!"  That was an obvious problem, because I was considering building a business around helping 50+ women! The Facebook group should have been like a dream portal to lots of new followers.

I am not criticizing anyone in that group, there are some very nice, caring ladies there - but the vast majority of them who are struggling have no real intention to change anything about their current situation.

I also observed in that group that some of the women enjoy the process of talking others into taking the action that is so obviously the right choice. It energizes them to see the light bulb come on. In other places in society, these people are our master politicians, successful salespeople, 7 figure life coaches and even celebrities.

I’m none of those. I'm not a convincer, it's not interesting to me to try to convince people to do what they already know is the right thing. Years ago, I would have written it off and said, "Well, I'm just not good at sales." 

Have you ever thought that? What I now know is that I am good at "sales", the kind that is based less on emotional persuasion and mountain top motivational moments, and more on showing up, showing  proof, adding value, and working hard to gain my real tribe’s trust. 

At any rate, a couple of years ago, I didn't know any of that, and I wasn’t sure how to proceed. What I did know I wasn’t ready to water down my message and niche on something obvious like menopause, divorce, life coaching or the latest diet for 50+ women. 

I put that idea for an online community business on hold and moved on to other ideas. Even if you don't know what to do next, never underestimate the clarity that resides in knowing what you don’t want to do! 

Check out this post for some quick ways to get inside the head of your potential customer. Look around and really get a sense of what's going on in there before you dive into a marketing campaign to try to influence or persuade them. This post features 3 quick ways to get started. 


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